Overworked Mum

Where have I been?

2007-02-14T19:45:00.000Z

Where have I been? Well, 23% of the world. Still lots of places to go, and I look forward to exploring them with my son Nathan as he grows up.

So much...

2007-02-06T21:13:00.000Z

So much has been happening.

I started a job that doesn't involve any computer work, so suddenly I'm offline.

Nathan is growing and finally getting his last 4 back teeth.... Just how long does teething go on for? He loves his baby ballet class and loves dancing to 'The Swamp Karaoke Party' on the Shrek DVD.

This is a picture of Nathan taken for a modelling assignment. The theme - growing up. When I look at it now, its so easy for me to see how much he has grown since this was taken in November 06. His hair has hardly blonde any more, changing more to mousy brown. He is filling out and no longer has any resemblance to a baby. He is a proper little boy.

My car has decided it won't always start, just because I need it to.

My cat chewed the backs of her back legs, creating 2 unattractive bald spots behind her 'knees'.

I took on a new client at reflexology.

I went to a pre-course party for my NLP practitioners course and met a few students who will be studying the same time as me. I was a bit wary of them, as they seem to be in to 'self development' in a big way.

I have started my 'solo singing' class again, with a much stronger, powerful voice. My teacher who has known me for around 4 years can hardly believe I'm the same person who used to be the last to sing in every class, almost not caring if there wasn't time for me to sing.

And that's on top of all the every day life things that just happen.

2007 is going to be a great year, I know it.

I have my dream board prepared.....
Its my 40th birthday this year and I would love tickets to see the Lion King in London.
I'd like to go on a Mark Warner Summer Holiday to Greece in September - they have full time child care, so I can truly have a break.
I want to start full time work again (hopefully to be sorted by the end Feb 2007).
My NLP course starts 22 Feb, 4 days a month for 4 months.
I'd love to have a Tempur mattress, so I can truly have a good nights sleep.
Romance, yes please - bring it on.
And finally a Toshiba HD ready flat screen tv. That would enable me to move my lounge round and have more space for relaxation.

Kissing

2007-01-05T19:41:00.000Z

Kissing. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

Kissing, snogging or pashing, whatever you call it, its fantastic. The moment just before your lips touch, the excitement, the anticipation, that moment of hesitation - all senses heightened, wonderful.

A few years ago my friend Kerstin (www.gipsylife.com) and I owned an internet dating agency based on the word snogging. It was fun, enlightening and amazing to think that we affected other peoples lives, their futures and even had a little bit of responsibility for the arrival of some snogg babies.

My current kissing companion is my son Nathan. He loves blowing kisses, and planting real sloppy ones on my face. Normally just after porridge or just before he goes to sleep. He is currently afraid of monsters, but I've managed to convince him the only type of monster out there is the kissing monster. I plant kisses all over him and he giggles so much, until neither of us can do it any longer.

Kissing is great fun and I wish I was doing more of it!

New Years Eve

2007-01-03T08:38:00.000Z

New Years Eve in London, was spectacular, well apart from the very long wait for midnight. We had a great time on the Victoria Embankment in the build up to midnight. The fireworks were amazing. London is now practising for the Olympics in 2012, so the fireworks get better and better.

Happy New Year to one and all.

Destination

2006-12-30T19:32:00.000Z

Destination. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings

2006 goes out with a bang tomorrow evening. Ill be standing along the bank of the River Thames watching the fireworks display that goes off from the London Eye. My parents, my sister and my son will be with me, and we will celebrate the beginning of yet another year.

This year has been a funny one, some of the highlights .... I started a job in the Business Coaching industry in Jan, and lost the job in November. I learnt loads during my time there, so I'll always be grateful for that. I took my son on his first transatlantic flight to Boston to stay with my friends Kerstin and Tom in Northampton, MA. We had a ball.

I cemented friendships with other mums. On evenings out, we talk at length about our children, which to any non parent, would sound like an evening from hell, but actually its a great way to learn, as long as there is some alcohol involved at some point during the evening!!

I've joined a DVD club, and have watched so many movies this year, two of my favourites being: In The Heat Of The Night, and On The Waterfront. What excellent movies. My favourite action - 24, and my favourite series Grey's Anatomy and I'm just getting in to Boston Legal, which is bonkers in part!

I've become interested in NLP, and will take a course in that in Feb 2007. I feel that this, in combination with my reflexology will be a new way forward for me. It will certainly be a journey, so I'm not sure exactly what the destination will be, but hey I'm really looking forward to it.

London

2006-12-13T16:19:00.000Z

My friend Norman came over from the US on a business trip. At the weekend I took him to Regents Park for a spin round the lake. It was a beautiful day. A real crisp autumn day - despite it being the middle of December.

I don't know Regents Park that well, but its a real haven in the mid to north of London - close to Camden where the world famous market is, close to Primrose Hill where the 'celebrities' live and inside it is London Zoo.

We had a lovely day and the fresh air made us all feel wonderful.

In the last hour.

2006-12-01T13:27:00.000Z

In the last hour. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

I bought my son an Advent Calendar. I agonised over whether it should be one I could reuse, or one I could throw away. I decided to be responsible and go with the reusable one. Make it part of our Christmas Celebrations from now on.

I bought a lovely felt Father Christmas advent calendar, only to discover on putting it up that the 6 on the number 16 was the wrong way round.

I almost wanted to keep it because it was - hopefully - unique. But no, I ran back to the shop and swapped it with the angel, who luckily for her has all her numbers the right way round!!

Welcome to the festive season.

Single Parent Travel

2006-11-23T09:43:00.000Z

I'm taking Nathan away for a long weekend to Biarritz. This involves flying on a low cost budget airline, which is a 2 hour drive from my house, and understanding the complicated new security arrangements for liquids and cosmetics.

Once on the plane a glass of wine goes down well, but the journey from the car park onwards will look something like this.....

Arrive at the car park, get buggy out, hang handbag, in flight bag, Nathan's rucksack on the back of the buggy. Hoist on rucksack which contains more things for Nathan than it does for me.

Struggle over to the bus pick up point and try and get everything on to the bus with no help from a. the driver or b. the other holiday makers.

Lurch all over the bus area as the driver rounds corners at the speed of light whilst grimly hanging on to the buggy to make sure it doesn't tip over with all the weight.

Arrive at the terminal sweating from the battle to keep myself and the buggy upright.

Queue at the check in desk and hope to god that the rucksack is within the weight allowance.

Go through to security. Madam they will say can you take you child out, and put his buggy through the scanner? Whilst you are doing that can you please put your childs shoes through the scanner? Please place all your items in the tray so they can go through the scanner? Please madam, can you hold on to your child. I will of course be balancing on one foot with a boot half on and half off as they ask this question.

Nathan will run through the scanner and I will follow. I will make the machine beep. I always do. Nathan will run off. Ill be in a dilemma as to go after him and cause a major terrorist alert or just simply let him run off shoeless with no buggy as an anchor.

Madam they will say, your items are clogging up the whole of the scanner, do you think you could take them off, oh and by the way, can we look in your handbag? Can you come here whilst we take everything out and not bother putting anything back in a way that the bag can close?

Madam they will say, is that your child running through Duty Free? Could you please control him as he runs as fast as his little legs will carry him in any direction he can as no one is holding on to him?

Madam they will say, if you can't get your child under control you may not be allowed on the flight?

Parents travelling with infants and small children may board the flight first they say, forgetting that I some how need to be able to get Nathan out of the buggy, collapse it, leave it in the right point, carry him to the aircraft, up the stairs and in to a seat before everyone else arrives....

Glass of wine, they will say. YES PLEASE is my reply. Make it a large......

Hero

2006-11-16T19:24:00.000Z

Hero. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month we pause to remember those killed and injured in war. Those people who fought for our freedom. The often times very young men and women who have died on our behalf.

This year my brothers Air Training Corps (boys and girls aged 13-18) marched in my local town centre to honour those who gave their lives. I hadn't been to one of these ceremonies in a long time and I was moved to tears by the readings the priest gave, the playing of The Last Post and by watching the elderly survivors of the Second World War standing proudly, although now supported by sticks, wearing their medals and strangely never once shedding a tear.

I guess these former soldiers or volunteers have had many years to come to terms with their experiences, and maybe there are no more tears to shed?

On Rememberance Sunday 4 British soldiers, 3 men and 1 women were killed in Iraq. 3 of their colleagues were seriously injured. Their boat hit by a home made bomb whilst they were patrolling the waterways around Basra.

November 11th is a sad day and somehow it was made even worse by these deaths.

My condolences to anyone who has lost their loved ones in conflict.

In Flanders' fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead.
Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders' fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe;
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high,
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders' Fields.
John McCrae

I don't want to be a passenger in my own life...

2006-11-12T17:57:00.000Z

I don't want to be a passenget in my own life.... My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

Of course I don't want to be the passenger, I want to be the driver. Life is mine for the taking and boy do I want it.

E Jim Rohn said, 'Work harder on yourself than you do on your business'. I was lucky enough to come across this quote in my last job and I think it makes perfect sense.

If I don't work on myself, how will I ever learn?

If I don't work on myself, how will I ever grow?

If I don't work on myself, how will I ever achieve?

If I don't work on myself, will I let things hold me back?

If I don't work on myself, will I be the best me I can be?

If I don't work on myself, will I do the things I want to?

My mission - start work, learn, grow and enjoy.

Redundant and Red

2006-11-07T16:15:00.000Z

My company made me redundant on Friday afternoon. I felt sad for a number of reasons, but the primary one being that we had just turned things around, got the systems and processes working and had made some sales.

However, I believe that opportunities like this are presented, sometimes more quickly than anticipated, for a reason and although I may not know it yet something good is going to come out of it.

I saw this picture today in my files. It was taken pre-Nathan in Cologne airport on new years day. I think the red is amazing, and although its not 'my' colour, it represents to me excitement, an edge and a new way forward.

All I can say is "bring it on, I'm waiting!"

Morning

2006-11-02T14:11:00.000Z

Morning. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

The sound of tiny feet padding across the wooden floor, the sound of the door handle being turned not always successfully the first time - this is how I wake up every day as Nathan gets out of bed and comes in for his morning cuddle.

He doesn't come alone. He has the usual array of teddies, his dummy, his juice cup and even his pillow.

He enters my bedroom and stands next to my bed - I've already checked the clock, its 6.45am give or take. Who needs alarm clocks when you have young children?

'Mummy' he half whispers/shouts. 'Mummy cuddle'.

The next thing is the pillow in my face, the teddy trying to be squeezed in beside me, the dummy offered, as he knows he can't have this unless he is sleeping and then my beloved thick duvet is pulled back as he tries to climb in to my bed. Its not always possible on his own - depends on what else he is carrying, so I heave him in and there he stays for a minute or two, if I'm lucky, before he wants to get up and have breakfast.

I look forward to the weekends when my wake up time generally 7am! A lie in, bliss!!!

Meme

2006-10-19T10:39:00.000+01:00

Saw this on GipsyLife and thought I'd have my 3's.

Things that scare me
1. not being a good mum
2. not being able to have open and honest communication with my son
3. never being loved by a husband/partner

People who make me laugh
1. my son
2. one of my reflexology clients
3. my sister Claire

Things I dislike most
1. people who deliberately hurt others
2. offensive people
3. malicious gossip

Things I don't understand
1. why are most of my friends and myself single?
2. my father was a French teacher and he never spoke to us as children in French, so we could have all been bi-lingual
3. why does a woman's bottom get bigger with age?

Things I am doing right now
1. learning NLP at night school - I love it
2. working hard to close my first sale in this job
3. once I close my sale - planning on some beauty treatments to pamper myself

Things I want to do before I die
1. become an NLP Master Practitioner
2. get a university degree
3. expand my son's cultural awareness by travelling extensively with him

Unique things I can do
1. multi-multi task
2. put my son to bed with no tantrums - just put him to bed and he goes to sleep
3. encourage my son to be curious

Things I can't do
1. i'm not very good with the word can't because I believe I can - only a matter of deciding what I want to do
2. recover quickly when I've drunk too much
3. speak fluent French - see earlier point

Ways to describe my personality
1. empathetic
2. practical
3. realist

Things I think you (I) should listen to
1. my gut instinct
2. my heart
3. my head

Things you (I) should never listen to
1. people who don't know what they are talking about on a particular subject
2. people who think they can tell you how to bring up your own child
3. people who make sweeping statements then can't back them up with fact

Things I'd like to learn
1. NLP
2. advanced reflexology
3. how to meet someone I can spend the rest of my life with

Favorite foods
1. a good medium steak with a great bottle of red wine
2. roast lamb
3. chocolate

Beverages I drink regularly
1. water
2. rooibos tea (full of anti oxidents)
3. red wine

Other bloggers I'd like to tag with this meme
Anyone who reads this blog!

Living above or below the line (Victor/Victim)

2006-10-11T12:03:00.000+01:00

Thought I'd post this. I'm in the middle of an NLP course and I love it. This comes from my office, but fits so well with my life, my learnings so far this course.

OWNERSHIP
ACCOUNTABLILITY
RESPONSIBILITY
__________________

BLAME
EXCUSES
DENIAL

Above the line, you will be a VICTOR. Most people tend to live below the line. We all go there at times. The key to this chart is realizing when you are below, and getting above the line.

Below the line, we BLAME other people for our lot in life, or make EXCUSES, or worst of all, live in DENIAL. Below the line, we are VICTIMS. When facing challenges (opportunities in disguise), instead of blaming or making excuses, or denying the situation, take ownership, and use your ability to respond, and be accountable to getting the results you deserve and create.

An Assignment

2006-10-06T10:09:00.000+01:00

An Assignment. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

I see her from the corner of my eye. She twiddles her strawberry blonde hair round her thumb and first first two fingers. She talks - her voice firm, confident and enthusiastic. She laughs - the sound builds, almost sounds horsey - I imagine a 'neigh' rather than laughter. I smile to myself.

What is she doing here? Well, I'm not entirely sure. Is this where she should be - for now I suppose it is. She has a lot to learn but here is a good training ground.

Her voice rises higher with excitement, but all too soon the enthusiasm is lost as the person she talks to looses interest. A shame, but she is on to the next, relentless in her persuit of finding the right person.

Skin (Part 2)

2006-10-01T13:36:00.000+01:00

Skin (Part 2). My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

In August I went to the wedding of Dave and Emma - see previous post, In Sickness and in Health. Emma was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 27. She fought bravely and I gave her reflexology throughout her chemo cycle.

She also battled the Local Health Trust even appearing on the BBC News 24 service and in many a newspaper to be allowed Herceptin the drug that helps keep Breast Cancer at bay. She is in remission and married the man she loved. It was an incredibly moving day.

I was devastated to hear from my brother this week that she has been diagnosed with cancer of the spine. Emma is still not 30 years old.

I have a theory that the good people die young and those of us who live a long and happy lives are perhaps mischievous in some way!!

I don't know the prognosis for Emma yet, but this I do know - she will fight and I will be there to offer her reflexology, if her cancer treatment allows for it.

Emma is an incredibly courageous young woman.

Skin

2006-09-29T19:12:00.000+01:00

Skin. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

This is me - 2 years ago - photographed with Lawrence Dallaglio - the England Rugby Player, known as The Lion. He is handsome, fit and extremely hot.

I asked him if he wouldnt mind having a photo taken. "No darling" he said. I stood next to him, and he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me close. I'm sure I blushed over my whole body.

He was physically hot - the heat was pouring out of his skin. I liked being there for that briefest of times.

Instructions....

2006-09-24T13:56:00.000+01:00

Instructions. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

Do we live life at 100 miles an hour? Is that why we don't have time for instuctions?

I recently tried to put together an office chair. I spent ages getting it right - or so I thought, but ended up in a situation where the back wouldn't sit straight on the seat of the chair and the arm handles didn't connect at all the right points.

It took me a while to read the instructions and the handy pointer that said 'front' on the underside of the seat before I put together this lovely chair I'm sitting on to write this post - all the bits facing the right way!

Take a moment, pause, read and enjoy!

Blue poo!

2006-09-21T09:53:00.000+01:00

I know its a strange title to a post, but yes, my morning has been an interesting one! Nathan did bubble painting yesterday at nursery. The class blew bubbles on to paper and the blue paint in the mix made for some interesting images.

This morning I was getting him ready for his bath when suddenly I saw that the inside of his nappy was blue, yes blue. I nearly had a heart attack. For a fraction of a second I thought he must have contracted some terrible disease.....

Then I remembered the blue splodges on the paper they showed me at nursery. He must have drunk a very large amount of the bubble / paint mix for the blue poo to appear, but once I had got over the shock, I thought it was quite funny!

Autumn & Conkers

2006-09-20T10:30:00.000+01:00

Autumn is upon us. There is a nip in the air, especially in the mornings and late afternoons. I'm fortunate enough to live near one of the Royal Parks, which I have to drive past on the way to dropping and picking Nathan from nursery.

This morning I was struck by the turning of the leaves. Whilst waiting in a jam at a temporary traffic light, I noticed that there seems to be more golden brown coloured leaves than green in some areas.

We arent having a great conker year though. Something to do with the crazy summer weather and the conkers not growing and hardening enough!

Playing conkers is something that every school child loves to do and I have fond memories of hardening conkers in the oven, in the airing cuboard and soaking them in vinegar to give them strength.

So, for those of you who dont know anything about conkers....

The horse chestnut tree was introduced into Britain in the 1600s and the first recorded instance of a game of conkers being played wasn't until 1848. This begs the question what small boys (this is an almost exclusively male activity) did up to that time when the nights drew in, the air got cold, and they wanted some way of conveniently breaking their best friend's knuckles without starting a fight. For over a hundred years now, however, there have been conkers.

What is/are Conkers?
Conkers, the small brown objects, are the seeds of the horse chestnut. Conkers, the pastime, is a game of skill and sublimated violence for two players. Each player is equipped with a conker, through which a hole has been drilled to allow a piece of string to be threaded. The string is knotted to prevent the conker coming off, and the game may commence.

Whoever goes first may be decided by coin toss or priority. For example, the owner of a 'sixer' (ie, the victor in six previous games) will have priority over the owner of a mere 'two-er'.
The receiver holds up the hand, dangling the conker on the end of its string. The other player then attempts to hit the dangling conker as hard as he can with his own conker by swinging it overarm. If he hits, he gets another go. If he misses, play switches and the receiver gets a crack at his opponent. This continues until one or other of the conkers is so damaged that it falls off the string. The winner can then add the loser's conker value to the victory count of their conker, turning the above mentioned sixer into an eighter.

Going Conkering
Conkers are typically harvested in early autumn. The usual method is to find a good conker tree and then stand under it throwing sticks up into the branches hoping this will dislodge the ripe fruit. Since the fruit is contained within green pods covered in sharp spines, there is a frisson of danger to this activity which most likely explains some of its appeal. It's often better to find conkers on the ground, as the ones on the tree probably won't be ready.

Research

2006-09-18T12:00:00.000+01:00

Research. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

The last couple of weeks in my life have been stressful. My son's nursery have put up their monthly fees by £100, taking his nursery care to almost £1,000 per month. And, my mortgage will be increasing by almost £300 per month too. Both of these increases mean outgoings of more than my base monthly salary.

I've researched other nurseries in my area and they are all the same price, so I was definitely getting a bargain to start with, for which I'm very grateful. My son also loves his nursery - often gets upset when he has to leave!!

As a solo parent, this leaves me in the worst position - don't earn enough, but want to keep working. Grrr, there are times when I do wish I had a supportive partner.

Last week I had 2 days of training with our Global Sales Director. I feel renewed and reinvigorated again, so I hope that the energy created by the training will lead me to convert some of my clients in to sales and commission will finally start coming through. That would ease my situation dramatically. Especially if I had a sale a month.

So, universe - please listen, I need some sales and I need them quickly. I'm going to do everything I can to make that happen, but a little karmic luck would be marvellous. Thank you! A very grateful overworked mum.

I would never write....

2006-09-10T13:42:00.000+01:00

I would never write.... My contribution to Sunday Scribblings

My father has Parkinsons Disease. He has had it since his early 40's and is now 65. His father had it too and his journey with Parkinsons was long and tough. My father has had a very hard time of it. He is literally having the life sucked out of him by this terrible disease.

BUT he never complains.

Watching him over the past 20 years and seeing his body letting him down, his normal functions becoming increasingly difficult - I would love him to just be a 65 year old who has time, energy and enthusiasm to do what he wants when he wants after working most of his life.

Its truly heartbreaking.

He continues on.

He is in the 4th year of a French and Spanish degree. It keeps his mind active. And last year he spent 4 months in Spain and then 4 months in France. He loved it!

I find it hard to watch him eat, as its painfully slow.
I find it hard to see him forget what he is doing or what he is saying.
I find it hard to see him looking like an old man, when he isn't really.
I find it hard to talk to him as I run out of patience.
I find it had to watch my dad in this state.

These are my issues, I know. I try to deal with them but I'm not very good at it.

If I had one wish, it would be to find a cure for this hideous disease.

Fortune Cookie

2006-09-01T15:22:00.000+01:00

Fortune Cookie - My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

Fortune or fortunate.

Fortunate that I can eat good cookies, that I don't put on weight regardless of how many I seem to consume, or fortunate that I can 1. afford it, 2. enjoy it and 3. do it.

My favourite cookies are:-

- Jaffa Cakes (called cakes rather than biscuits so they could escape rationing in the 2nd world war)
- Mini Rolls (chocolate logs with butter cream in them)
- Penguin Biscuits (Tim Tams in Australia)

Hmm seems to be a chocolate theme going on here.

All this blogging about chocolate is making me feel hungry.... just off to put the kettle on and raid the cookie jar.

Tiger....

2006-08-30T13:41:00.000+01:00

My son Nathan's first face painting.

A partial tiger, as he didn't want to sit still.

I love it!

The Monster....

2006-08-21T15:14:00.000+01:00

The Monster. My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

I've been thinking about The Monster, and what I could write, as I haven't posted anything for a week or so. I've just been lying in bed trying to sleep when thoughts of an incident from my childhood slipped in to my mind. I hardly ever think about it and don't think I've ever told anyone about it.

I never really know how many people look at my blog, but I'm going to put it out there.....

When I was 8 I went to the shops for my mum. (It was different in those days, we went everywhere for hours on end, without thought of bad things happening). I bought some tins of beans. It was a hot day, but my mum cooked for us every night. I was wearing a t-shirt and skirt.

On the way back I was turning on to the road I lived - Norman Road. I was at the other end to our house - we lived at number 2. As I rounded the corner a man shouted me from his car. It was parked outside the end house - a house that was always a bit run down, with the garden overgrown.

He asked for my help. I was innocent and said yes to this stranger. He had dropped his fountain pen in the front passenger footwell. It had rolled under the dash and his fingers were too fat to get it. Could I try and reach it for him?

I placed the tins at my feet on the pavement and leaned in to the car - head in the footwell and tried to help this man by wriggling my fingers in to the tiny gap. As I did so my one of my feet came up from the ground. The man saw his chance, I guess, and slipped his hand on to my leg urging me forward.

As I struggled to reach the (non existant?) pen his hand went higher up my leg and up to my bottom, he tried to get his fingers to my most innocent body part. He manged to touch me briefly, before I realised something wasn't quite right with the scenario.

I pulled away and grabbed the tins, all the while apologising for not being able to help. He didn't say much, but I walked away and didn't look back. He drove off and somehow between walking from one end of the road to the other, I rationalised that he had probably made a mistake and didn't mean it.

Now I know he probably did mean it, and I probably had a lucky escape.

Affirmations

2006-08-17T16:42:00.000+01:00

"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen." Muhummed Ali

I always thought affirmations were a bit of nonsense, but now I see from this quote and from the whole heap of learning I've had this year that they are great tools for self confidence, self belief and attaining aims.

What are mine? Not sure yet, but by God I'm going to get working on some this week.

Who else can I still be?

2006-08-12T01:24:00.000+01:00

Who else can I still be? My contribution to Sunday Scribblings

I've been lying in bed trying to get to sleep, but its now 1.20am and I'm still struggling.

I walked around my house, checked on my sleeping son and heard my computer was still on, so here I am contemplating who else can I still be?

Its a great question with many possibilities. I'm a real believer in you can be anything you want to be, but my biggest BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) for this year has been about goal setting, because without goals how do you know if you have achieved anything at all?

So, here is a small part of list of my goals for the next 30-40 years:-

For my son:-
- to be a great mum
- to be a great friend
- to be supportive
- to love him unconditionally
- to give him choices in life
- to educate him through schooling, travel, fun and through friendship
- to share quality time

For me:-
- to find and commit to a loving, loyal, fun partner
- to continue to learn and develop
- to be good at anything I try and if I find something I love, well, to be great at it
- to laugh more
- to relax more
- to be good to me and to love me more
- to be thankful and grateful

For others:-
- to be a better friend
- to listen more and be less quick to offer my thoughts
- to offer an opportunity to someone
- to be supportive no matter what

This post allows me to put my goals out there. By sharing, I'm part way through my IVVM - internatlise, visualise, verbalise and they will materialise....

Watch out world, here I come!

In sickness and in health

2006-08-08T13:00:00.000+01:00

On Saturday I went to a wedding of my brothers friends Dave and Emma. They all met at university in Bradford in the late 90's.

Dave and Emma got engaged at Christmas 2004 and in February 2005 Emma was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 27. Unluckily for her it was the kind that spreads rapidly, so the doctors recommended she went straight in to chemo.

I got involved by giving Emma reflexology to help her blood cell count and to help with detoxing and relaxing pre and post chemo. All through this terrible time Emma was wonderful and Dave was a great support to her.

At the end of her chemo course she saw the Doctor and they couldn't believe that her tumour had shrunk to practically scar tissue. A lumpectomy and radiation therapy were the next treatments on the list but Emma took them in her stride and did really well.

If all that wasn't enough Emma needed the drug Herceptin, which would help keep the chance of the cancer returning very low. Unfortunately for many women in Emma's position the drug hadn't been approved for use in this kind of treatment in England and Wales. Emma was not put off, she started campaigning for the drug - she was in the newspapers, on BBC News 24, on TV programmes helping fuel the case for herself and other women.

Luckily enough she was eventually granted this drug, which has now been approved. All the way through this she had tremendous support from Dave, her and his family and many friends.

So, being invited to their wedding was an emotional and happy day. As Emma's mother said, as she did the 'father of the bride speech' the impact of their vows 'in sickness and in health' are very real to both and their love for each other has carried them through.

I wish them the very best for their new married life together.

Who else might I have been?

2006-08-03T15:56:00.000+01:00

Who else might I have been? My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

Would my life have been any different if I'd stayed in the education system and gone to Uni? I often wonder about this now, as my parents encouraged us to work really hard up until our O'Levels (age 16) but after that, didn't seem to mind what we did. I presume they wanted us to have a good stable educational base to move forward from.

I joined British Airways at the age of 19 and spent 10 years there. Allowing me to travel, to work abroad and to be immersed in cultures diverse from my own. I mainly worked in Eastern Europe, South America, US & Canada and a small part of Australia. But, I was lucky enough to travel throughout a lot of other countries too.

I have had an interest in further education since my mid 20's and have taken courses as diverse as History, German, Reflexology, Solo Singing and Photography.

Last year I qualified as a reflexologist, which I love. I know some of my relations and friends think it an odd choice. If I had my time again I would love to do chiropractic - spinal hygiene and/or a complementary therapy degree.

How different my life would have been!

Physically, I would like to have these attributes....

I'd like to be taller (would love to add at least 2 inches to my legs)
I'd like to have a more curvaceous figure
I'd like to have less wiry thick red (going to grey) hair

Mentally, I would like to be...

Less angry - seem to be well over that now to be fair
More focussed - can multi task, but sometimes take on too much
Less prone to exaggeration - although does make for good stories
More positive - seem to have inherited mums way of rubbishing things that were actually good

Wow, who else might I have been? Well, actually it doesn't matter because I'm happy where I am and I adore my beautiful son.

Thief...and 2 Cents...

2006-07-26T16:32:00.000+01:00

Stolen childhood and my 2 cents... - my contribution to Sunday Scribblings.

I am one of 5 - 1 older brother, me, 2 sisters and 1 brother. Yes, you guessed it, my parents are Irish Catholics.

My brother and I were born just over a year apart and my brother was incredibly jealous of me when I came along. He was a really cute baby who had loved being the centre of attention, but I was a 'Dresden Doll' - small, redhaired and had loads of character.

My next sister was born 2 years later. She was born with the cord wrapped round her neck and was a little sickly. She caught measles when she was around 18 months old and sadly lost the hearing in one of her ears.

Recently my sisters and I were talking and my first sister mentioned that I had done a lot as a child to help and support my family. She thought I hadn't really had much of a childhood, because of the family situation. Too many kids and not enough money. My parents often worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet.

Because of their workload my parents did struggle for many years to try and do their best for us. I guess with their exhaustion they didn't realise that they were also coming across as being disinterested, not bothered and generally cold towards us.

I hadn't really thought about it, but it did make me wonder about my 'role' in the family. Funnily enough, I've looked through some old photos and on most of them I have a frown on my face.

My youngest sister sometimes confronts my parents about their behaviours. I have to admit, some of the stuff she says makes my toes curl, but some of it is valid. I also have to admire her openness, as I often take the line of least resistance on these things and don't talk about them. Not because I don't want to deal with any issues, but their actions and behaviours were all that they knew - having come from parents who exibited the same behaviours.

Thank God, I have realised I have a choice to live my life differently. I have a choice as to how to bring up my son - my choice is love, affection, laughter, joy, openness and fun.

And that is my 2 cents worth!

Obstacles....

2006-07-18T15:55:00.000+01:00

"Obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes off your goals."

I don't know who said it, but how true it is! I've been trying to write my 101 goals I want to achieve before I die. Its a big task, so I split it in to sections but am having a lot of trouble working on my personal goals. Life, love, growth and development etc,

I seem to be blocked looking in to my future. I'm not sure if this is because I have my son to consider and as our futures are so linked that I can't focus on mine or whether I just really don't know what I want to do.

Hmm, even on writing I wrinkle my nose at the thought of the second one, but I'm struggling with the goals anyway. I'm not sure what my obstacles are, but the usual ones come to mind.

My job is a little like a roller coaster - lots of ups and downs and changes. I'm continuing with my reflexology, which I really love, but I want to learn more - an advanced course - which would benefit me and my customers - struggling with finding one thats affordable and works time wise. I'm also tired because I do a full days work 5 days a week and then often 2 / 3 hours in the evening a couple of evenings a week.

Time, money and support....

Being a single mum, working full time plus, with no real financial reward (as yet but soon) is not easy. (How do these teenagers do it?) A bit of additional support would be nice - but this was my choice and for my son, I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, I need to give myself permission to have some time off. I have no reflexology clients booked in next week. 5 nights off. That would be wonderful. Perhaps then I'll have a bit of thinking time, which will help.

I'll be signing up for an NLP course, which starts in Sept 06. Its 10 weeks, 3 hours a week. I think Ill get a lot out of that and it will help me move forward.

There, a decision made and a path to go down. 1 obstacle cleared.... 1 step forward to clarity on my goals.... Eyes up, keep looking forward.

With baggage...

2006-07-16T20:33:00.000+01:00

Well, I could talk about my childhood -

the lack of affection from my parents, because they didn't know how, or the father who didn't seem to take that much interest in our achievements, our hopes, our dreams only our naughty behaviour!

But no. I thought I'd reveal the current contents of my handbag. Well, actually my working handbag, because I need another large bag to carry all the additional 'stuff' I need for my 2 year old son.

So, my handbag contains...

a purse, a bottle of sun tan lotion (factor 25 for kids), a small bottle of water, a tissue, my cheque books (2), my paying in books (2) my moisturiser - Burts Bees, my sons sunglasses, my hairbrush, my colours (see earlier post), my tax return reminder to pay the outstanding balance on 31st July, my appointment to be a blood donor, my lipstick - Mac (my favourite), my lip balm(Burts Bees again), a Boots No 7 mascara - currently suffering a bit of a weepy eye - so good to have mascara on standby, a letter from Orange offering me free wireless broadband if I extend my mobile phone contract, a box of paracetamol and a box of chewing gum (fresh mint).

Is it any wonder my shoulder aches, my neck feels tense and I need to visit the chiropractor?

Self Portrait Saturday (Indian Style)

2006-07-08T22:22:00.000+01:00

We went to Southall today (just outside Central London) which is predominently Indian Punjabi. My friend Paola (Italian) is marrying Ketan (Gudjurat) in August and we decided to buy Indian outfits to fit in with the day.

I've got a lovely long top and trousers plus scarf in lime green and pistachio, and Nathan has a burgundy long top with gold embroidery and cream tight trousers. He looks amazing, but would stand still for a photo today, but there is plenty of time for me to get one.

Nathans outfit cost £15 and mine £25. Incredible as they are fantastic outfits. Paola is having her wedding outfit made - burgundy with embroidery tailored to a modern style. I cant wait to see her, as she will look amazing. Ketan is opting to wear black and tan, which is traditional, as I understand.

They are both amazing people who certainly have experienced life's ups and downs and I know they will be a great couple who will be together for a very long time.

I'm delighted for them both and can't wait to share their wonderful day with them.

Freedom

2006-07-07T14:55:00.000+01:00

Freedom to have fun. I love taking my son, Nathan, to the park. I always find time to go on the swings. I get a funny feeling in my chest as I swing high. Memories from childhood? I don't know - maybe its just the feeling of letting go, of being a child, of swinging up high and having fun.

Fab colours

2006-07-02T22:08:00.000+01:00

Just loved this image. Lilacs hiding the view to Hampton Court Palace, Hampton, England today. Fantastic colours.

Purple is one of my favourite colours.

Two peas in a pod

2006-07-02T21:49:00.000+01:00

My contribution to Sunday Scribblings....

We are just back from a visit to Hampton Court Palace, built by Henry VIII for one of his wives, Anne Bolyen. It was an absolutely beautiful day which was spent happily together with my sister Claire, my son Nathan and friends Norman, his wife and daughter.

We attempted the maze, which by keeping to the right going in, and the left coming out we managed to do in around 10 minutes. Norman mentioned that the last time he was in there he got stuck for almost an hour and a half with his brother!

Anyway, this is the picture we had taken as we reached the middle. My sister and I - and I couldnt help thinking - 2 peas in a pod...

Music....to my ears

2006-06-27T09:38:00.000+01:00

My contribution to Sunday Scribblings.....

My two year old son is learning to count. He can do 2, 3, 4 and something that resembles 5, 6 and 7. Anyway, we do a lot of counting, going up stairs, number of cars, number of trains etc, you get the picture.

I went to pick him up from nursery yesterday and Lilly the carer came up to me and said, "Nathan is a cheeky monkey. He has been smacking again (his first reaction when he doesn't get what he wants) so I took him away from the situation and I asked him 'How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?'" And his reply "Two".

She was almost hysterical with laughter. As was I when she told me.

Music to my ears that he has a personailty - of that there is no doubt - but that he can also respond in such a way!!!

Communication

2006-06-23T15:12:00.000+01:00

Well, I'm just back from my very relaxing holiday in Noho, Mass. USA. I had a wonderful time, not really doing much, but catching up with Kerstin, having girlie chats, hopefully helping her move away from the mental state she is in to a place which is more positive - through postive languaging and postive action.

One thing I realised, and have been realising more and more recently, is that communication is so essential and so key to everything we do, but that I do not always do this well.

For example I've realised that in past relationships I've gone in to them, put what I thought at the time was my all in to them, but actually one thing that stopped quite quickly was communication - I lost my curiosity, accepted what was and didn't seem to question anything or want to explore things more deeply. I don't think I was shallow, I just think I didn't understand the importance of communication.

My parents do talk, but often the talking is done at each other, not too each other. They can often be on the phone to one of their children and not tell the other what they have spoken about after the call. And, more often than not they don't speak at all, or don't answer comments, statements or respond to anecdotes.

For me this is "normal" communication. Or should that be - lack of! And also being a Brit, we are not too good at communicating anyway. Always worried what others might think.

Additionally I am child number 2 in a family of 5, so was often the person who was trying to keep the peace, negotiate and listen to all sides. I wonder if this has had an effect too?

Having just spent my time with Kerstin and Tom who are great communicators - its been a revelation. Americans in general I have found are quite open about their feelings and are quite happy to share their thoughts and opinions, and Germans are certainly more direct than we are. So an interesting mix. Throw in to that my friend Norm who also asks great questions, it all makes for communication heaven.

I'm trying to put together my list of 101 things I should do before I die and in that are a number of personal goals. I'm going to add a couple of points in there about better and more open communication, not only with my self, but also with my son, my friends and my family. Now there is a challenge if ever I saw one.....

Holidays are coming...

2006-06-10T12:34:00.000+01:00

....and I can't wait for tomorrow. I fly to Boston and then go up to Northampton to stay with Kerstin and Tom. I'm so looking forward to seeing them, spending time with them and also meeting up with my old friend Norman. I'm sure he wouldn't thank me for the old bit though!!

I've had a couple of bad weeks, tonsilitis followed by a really bad cold, which developed in to sinusitis. I thought the tonsilitis was bad, but the sinusitis has been awful. Every bone in my face hurt and I had a couple of cracking headaches too.

Work has been crazy. Lots of changes, which I fully embrace. We are an office of 9. We have lost one person to redundancy and one person has effectively been demoted. We've been given contracts and had a lot of our function/job description finalised. It feels good for the changes to have happened. They were long overdue. But, I think the best part is that the people from our Head Office sat and listened to us, took decisive action and got to know us. It makes for a better connection and they recognised the situation we had been in and want to help us make it forward - catapult us in to success.

Whilst we are away my son Nathan will celebrate his second birthday. He is amazing, funny, bright, sweet, energetic and a real boy. I love him with all my heart and am so lucky to have him in my life.

A - Z of me part two

2006-05-26T17:38:00.000+01:00

Didn't quite get this right.... Well just did it my way, but here are the answers anyway to Kerstins blog.

Accent ... British, but have been asked previously if I am Australian

Booze ... Hardly, but Red wine would be my favourite. A good peppery Shiraz/Sirrah.

Chore I hate ... cleaning my shoes. Hardly ever do it, and shoes say so much about a person. Must try harder as they say at school.

Dogs/cats ... 1 cat Lilly, see below.

Essential electronics ... Cell phone and Digital Camera - Nikon Coolpix.

Favorite perfume ... Day CK One, evening Coco by Chanel.

Gold/silver ... Gold, although have a white gold and saphire eternity ring.

Hometown ... Was born in Whitefield, Lancashire, UK. But spent most of my life in Stockport, Cheshire and Teddington, Middlesex.

Insomnia ... Generally don't have a problem with sleeping. Must have a feather pillow and feather duvet at home. I love it for its coziness.

Job title ... Single mum, Reflexologist, Business Development Manager, Photographer.

Kids ... 1, Nathan, would like another though.

Living arrangements ... Victorian 3 bedroom house in Teddington, Middlesex. Just me, Nathan and the cat Lilly.

Most admired trait ... Fairness.

Number of sexual partners ... Not enough - where is the man of my dreams right now?

Overnight hospital stays ... 1 stint of about 3 nights when I was in my late 20's - UTI. Wasn't even born in hospital. My dad delivered me in a snow storm. The ambulance couldn't get up the hill.

Phobia ... None that I can think of.

Quote ... Will have to come back to that one, as I can't think of one at the moment.

Religion ... a lapsed Catholic.

Siblings ... one older brother - just turned 40. 2 sisters in their 30's and 1 younger brother.

Time I usually wake up ... around 6.30am.

Unusual talent ... My ability to multi task at a great rate.

Vegetable I refuse to eat ... soft boiled Brussels Sprouts.

Worst habit ... allowing my feelings to show on my face.

X-rays ... Cant remember - oh yes dental xray as I had been grinding my teeth!

Yummy foods I make ... pasta dish from Childhood and Spicy Salmon cooked with red rice and Mango salad. And curried baked Lamb.

Zodiac sign ... Sagittarius with Cancer somewhere.

A - Z of me

2006-05-26T13:32:00.000+01:00

Just seen this on Kerstin’s blog, www.gipsylife.com, and thought I’d give it a go…

A – Action – yes I love doing, experiencing and enjoying what I do. No regrets about anything I've ever done. I know it's not for everyone, but there is sooo much you can do in a day.

B – Beautiful baby – well shouldn’t say baby anymore as Nathan my son, see below, is just about to be 2 on 13th June. We will be celebrating in the US with Kerstin and Tom and their two cats Coco and Lilly. Oh yes, my friend Norm will be travelling up from Virginia to join us too.

C – Coaching – I work for a Business Coaching organisation and I've learnt a tremendous amount since being there. 23.01.06

D – Dogs, no but cat yes – see Lilly on one of my earlier posts. Luckily she has a very good temprament as Nathan often tries to ride her like a horse!!

E – Education through fun. Learning should be about fun and enjoyment. People often know the answers, just need the encouragement to get it out.

F – Fab Fi. My nickname for myself!! No I'm not egotistical, just love alliteration. Mind you just having had my colours done, I hope when I purchase my new clothes everyone will think that too.

G – Goals – I learnt a valuable lesson through work. If you don’t set yourself any goals how do you know when you have achieved anything? Kerstin and I share fortnightly goals at the moment and I'm trying to compose my 101 things I want to do with my life too.

H – Holidays. 11-21st June – Noho, Mass. Can't wait. Want very much to spend time with Kerstin. She would love my company, Action International, as we are so much in to personal development.

I – Ill – currently off work with tonsillitis. Not been kissing anyone and my son is fine, so not at all sure how I got this.

J – Julia Van Den Berg is responsible for my transformation via House of Colour. She has pointed me in the right direction with my wow colours and my power/wow lipsticks.

K – Katy, my sister, is splitting from her husband. He is being a jerk. The flat he is buying has been delayed, so he eats all the food and doesn’t lift a finger to help and doesn’t give her any support. He makes me so mad.

L – Lilly the Cat, she has just jumped out the window and is sitting on the roof of my house – Built in 1895. The weather is not good. Blowing a gale out there. Hope she comes back in soon.
M – MacCarron’s – I've got my mum and sister coming over this afternoon. They are coming for the weekend. To spend time with Nathan and me. I will be so glad for their help.

N – Nathan. Beautiful, smart, funny, curious, sporty and energetic.

O – Oh wow, I wasn’t sure how easy this would be and so far I've sailed through my alphabet.

P – Pillows. I love the fact I can turn my pillow over during the night or in the morning and the underside is always cool and I can snuggle down in to it.

Q – QWERTY – The best invention for typing. The story goes that 2 keyboards were made and a competition run to see which one was the best. The QWERTY one turned out to be the best for touch typing and was picked up around most of the English speaking world.

R – Reflexology. I'm a qualified reflexologist and I love giving treatments. I'm currently working with a number of women and partners who are trying to get pregnant and people who want to take care of themselves one a weekly / fortnightly basis.

S – School – Ok I missed N for Nursery. Just received Nathan’s nursery OFSTED report. This details what inspectors from the Govt Dept for Education think of their provision of Childcare. It makes for interesting reading. The nursery got a ‘Good’ rating.

S – Shopping – sorry need to do two entries here. Having my body style / image analysis done on Sun, so role on the sales I need to shop for fab clothes in amazing colours that will make everyone sit up and take note.

T – Travel. Holidays are coming. I currently have no other holidays booked, but would like to go to Biarritz again towards the end of the year to see Fiona, JJ and Mika and the new baby.

U – Understanding. Being a parent has made me take stock of myself, my situation and my reaction to my son and others around. I feel I'm a lot more patient, empathetic and easy going than before.

V – Vehicles. I'm back to a Renault Clio from a Mazda MX5 (Miata). I can't wait for Nathan to grow and for me to be more successful at my job so I can trade up. A Golf would be nice, and so would a Jaguar XJS convertible.

W – Windy. It's very windy today. We are going to the Polo at Ham on Monday. I fear it may rain or be very cold. They have marching bands. Nathan will love it.

X – Xtreme. I hope to be going snowboarding in a year or two with Nathan. He will learn to ski first and I will get to board again and be free to enjoy the fresh mountain air, and some good powder.

Y – Yippee – not long to my holidays. Can't wait to be away from work and to relax for 10 days.

Z – Zzzzzz. I should go back to bed. Feel a little drained by all this mental exercise.

Colours

2006-05-20T19:38:00.000+01:00

Had my colours done today via The House of Colour, www.houseofcolour.co.uk. What an experience. I thought I was an autumn, and I was, but during the consultation I realised that a large percentage of the clothes in my wardrobe don't fit within the range. I was a warm autumn - yellow based colours, but most of my clothes were cool, bue based colours that cooled my look effectively draining colour from my face.

So, today was a revelation.

Once I had the right colours around me the difference in my skin tone and eye colour was incredible. I had a make up lesson too, with the eye part of it tailored to my eye socket shape!

Next week I'm having my body shape analysed so I can buy the right style of clothes for my shape. So, I should have a 'capsule' wardrobe that is colour co-ordinated and I can wear anything with anything. I can't wait.

Of course it means I have to ditch a large percentage of my clothes, but thank God for ebay!

I like this one too...

2006-05-17T21:38:00.000+01:00

Football World Cup

2006-05-17T21:34:00.000+01:00

Nathan the world cup footballer. I love this photo. He is so innocent!

And so cute.

And, wouldn't it be great if one day he was playing for England. My male friends tell me he needs to learn to dribble with both feet. No chance of that yet all the dribbling he does is coming from the remainder of his teeth. Only 4 back ones to go.....thank goodness for that.

Ageing gracefully?

2006-05-17T21:26:00.000+01:00

Here is a photo of me taken just over a week ago. The day before it was taken I'd had my haircut and for the first time there had been more gray than red in the discarded hair. I realised then that I am getting older. I'm 38 - often have to remind myself as I keep forgetting! I always think I'm younger than that....

So this is me, more wrinkled and crinkled than I think, but I hope my face shows a wealth of experience, an inner strength and ... next time I hope the photographer uses softer lights!

Holidays are coming

2006-05-09T12:30:00.000+01:00

My friends Fiona and JJ have 2 beautiful studio apartments in their house just outside Biarritz. www.lacolombe64.com. Its a beautiful part of France and one I had the pleasure of going to in December last year. We had a healthy, holistic and very happy 6 days there. The Pays-Basque region is stunning, beach, mountains, great little villages, amazing food and lovely countryside.

We're off to Boston on 11th June to stay with my friends Kerstin and Tom. www.gipsylife.com. They live in Northampton, Mass. www.noho.com. We have 10 days there and I am so looking forward to going there, catching up, chilling out and just relaxing. Drinking wine in the evenings with some wonderful company. We plan to go to Boston to look around and other than that, a bit of retail therapy, lots of outdoor expoloration and catching up on sleep.

I'm so lucky to have friends who welcome me and a very energetic 2 year old in to their houses, lives and regions. So, thanks to those friends who are sharing so much with us.

As it turns out

2006-04-27T16:50:00.000+01:00

As it turns out my potential client has moved over to his new 'owner' and Im not the first to make this mistake. It will of course be the last time it happens for me!

I'm glad though that everything worked out and the transition has gone smoothly. He was to be my first coach, but that pleasure now is reserved for someone else. And, the best bit of news. The new owner will pay me my full commission assuming everything goes through.

The new owner is abundant and it shows. My potential client is in safe hands and will do well.
Its been a good day.

Monday morning

2006-04-24T11:30:00.001+01:00

So, here I am at work, its Monday morning and this is how my day is going....

I work for a business coaching organisation and its my job to find new business coaches. Its been a rough ride over the past couple of months, with a huge amount of change in personnel and process. But, following a meeting with the Chairman of the Company Brad Sugars, www.bradsugars.com my colleague Gary and I came back to the office with direction, leadership and a renewed source of energy for the job. The abundance mindset has been amazing and positive results have followed.

I have my first client to convert in to a Business Coach, all is going well with him. I do believe you get the people you deserve and this guy is lovely. Im scheduled to meet him and his wife on Wednesday and he was going to give me a deposit towards the fee.

I was just going through one of the many documents that need to be prepared when I suddenly realised that he doesn't belong to my area. Another of our BDM's should be looking after him, so my first real opportunity will have to be given to someone else, after I've done a lot of hard work.

Im gutted. It was a stupid mistake that should have been identified right at the beginning of the process. And to make matters worse, my boss emailed the CEO about this prospect, which I was really annoyed about and now I will look stupid for not spotting the error, even though 2 other people before me should have done so.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Introducing...

2006-04-18T19:20:00.000+01:00

So here he is the Boy Wonder. This is my son Nathan. Currently 22 months old and full of energy. Even this one is taken when he is supposed to be going to 'night nights' but no chance. He wouldnt lie still, but I love the effect of the blurred edges.

I do some portrait photography, which I enjoy, but it can be quite challenging when taking pictures of babies and children, who invariably don't want to sit still and look cute. Some of them really know how to make you work for it!

Nathan is a real smiler, his whole face lights up when he smiles. He giggles the baby giggle that just melts your heart. Long may it continue.

Firm, decisive strokes...

2006-04-11T14:09:00.000+01:00

Its Tuesday lunchtime and I've just been for a massage. Wonderful!

My friend Karen is studying to be a massage therapist and I'm one of her case studies. Whilst enjoying the massage I got to thinking whether the type of stroke and pressure you prefer says anything about your personality.

For example, I like the firmness, it says to me that the person knows what they are doing and are doing it with strength and I like the decisiveness of the strokes, it tells me that the person is practiced and can take positive action.

Is that who I am? Does that reflect my personality? Well, I'd like to think so.

Whatever you think, massage - any kind of pampering is good for your soul.... and even better when its halfway through the day!

If cats could speak....

2006-04-09T15:06:00.000+01:00

"If cats could speak, what would they say
about you, your lifestyle
and the way that you play...."

Well, not much as it would happen....

Life as a single, working mum is not by any stretch of the imagination easy. But it struck me recently that my life had become quite narrow due to the lack of money, the lack of time and the lack of energy.

I recently encountered the 'Wheel of Life' concept. I did my wheel and saw indeed that my life was unbalanced, small and that change was needed. So, I've decided to live a little and broaden my life.

I've had a couple of nights out recently with girlfriends, all of them mums and all understanding the exhaustion that can be part of daily life. I've put my name on a waiting list for The Lensbury Club, www.lensbury.com, a gym/leisure club in the town where I live - 6-8 months is the waiting time for a single person, 3-5 years for a family! Can you believe it! However, the facilities are wonderful and for children growing up the opportunity to get in to an outdoor lifestyle is great. For adults, well, lots of opportunity to socialise and to meet some new people. Single men, too, I hope.

I've also had a wardrobe clear out, Ive given to charity some of my clothes that I haven't worn for a while or even at all. I've been in touch with someone who can do my colours and clothing styles. I would like to purchase wisely rather than just purchasing anything from the sales that seems like a bargain.

I'm feeling good, positive and as if I'm entering a new phase in my life. Roll on new life, I want my cat, Lilly, to have something to say about my life.

TGIF

2006-04-07T15:51:00.000+01:00

Here I am, new to this blogging world, but inspired to share and grow by reading GipsyLife, my friend Kerstins Blog.

Its Friday, its been a long week! My 22 month old son recovered from a nasty chest infection that went round nursery at a great rate only to wake up on Wednesday morning with an eye the size of a tennis ball. It was bacterial conjunctivitis. Luckily there was an appointment at the doctors for him and the prescribed anti biotics did the trick. So now he looks gorgeous again with 2 eyes the same size!!

My sister announced her divorce from her husband of 15 years. None of us were surprised at the decision, but it was still a shock to hear it. Their 2 daughters are upset, but there seems to be an air of resignation about the whole thing. The youngest said on hearing my mum say, Im not surprised, that lots of people had said that. So, out of the mouth of babes.....

Just off to nursery to collect Nathan now. I cant wait for the kiss and the cuddle that will greet me. Of course he will be upset to leave, as he adores his 'toddler class' and all his mates, but I want to have him for myself whilst I can.

Something about me.... Im 38, single, working for www.action-international.com as a business development manager full time and have a number of reflexology clients that I see. Many for fertility reasons, but some for pure relaxation. I love it, but TGIF....